7 Things I Wish I Knew As a Teen

At 26, there’s a lot of things I wish I could tell my younger self. I have learned so many life lessons and things I believed as a teen, I have learned just don’t matter in life as much as I thought.

1. Most of your friends won’t stay your friends after you graduate high school. There will be a select few that you’ll stay in touch with. There is a select few that you will keep in touch with and I have learned to embrace those friendships and cherish those few people in my life. I firmly believe that the ones you don’t stay in touch with is for a reason, you aren’t meant to keep them as a friend. If they wanted to stay in touch, they would.
2. What people think about you doesn’t matter. You cannot live your life comparing yourself to others. You will be miserable if you live your life trying to keep up with the Jones’. In High School I got so wrapped up in worrying about what I ate and how much I worked out because I got caught up in comparing myself to others. I was a cheerleader and I worked out besides my cheer practices.
3. Do you. Who cares if your friends think your hobbies are dumb? Do what you love and don’t apologize for being yourself.
4. You don’t HAVE to go to college. If you want to go to college do it for you. College really isn’t something that you absolutely have to do. If you really don’t want to go to college… don’t. In all reality, college doesn’t guarantee you will come out of it with a high paying job that will pay off all those dang student loans you’re stuck with.
5. The most important investment you make is in yourself. Your skincare and makeup make a difference, find what works with your skin. You only get one body, take care of it. This also goes for mental health. Take care of your mental health. If you need to take antidepressants… your happiness is the most important thing.
6. Treat your family and loved ones with kindness. Tomorrow is not always guaranteed. Treat every day like it’s your last. Tell your loved ones you love them any chance you get.
7. Enjoy being young while you’re young. Don’t spend all your teenage years wishing you were an adult because that will come soon enough. The responsibilities of being an adult are stressful so enjoy being young while you are young. Once you become an adult everything changes and life gets a little more difficult.

There’s probably a lot more things I wish I could tell my younger self but these are the ones I can think of. I remember worrying so much about what others thought as a teen and trying to keep up with what was cool. I remember wanting to be an adult, like we all do when we’re in High School but adulting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be… Its a lot of work and responsibility.

What were some things you wish you could tell your younger self?

Ashley

Dating Your Husband…

I feel like most people start dating then they hit the “honeymoon” phase. Then a lot of couples stop dating their husband when they get married. I will admit, it happened in my relationship because you get in the groove of things and then life gets ahead of you.

This last month, my husband and I have started making some sort of date night or date day a priority once a week. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant date. Wither it’s to go get groceries, go to Home Depot to get something you’ve been needing to get for the house or going to dinner/lunch together.

My relationship has drastically changed the past few months, for the better as we have made our relationship a priority.

At the end of November and beginning of December, we took a trip to Walt Disney World that we had been planning for a few years and kept having to cancel due to the Pandemic. That trip opened our eyes that we needed to spend more one-on-one time together. We agreed that we need to take some sort of trip every year, just the two of us. We stayed at Disney World for 8 nights and 9 days. That was the longest we have ever been away from home and if I’m being completely honest I wanted to stay longer.

On the way home we had a few hours of a layover and were talking about what we’d like to do next. We are California residents and used to go to Disneyland multiple time per year, as I grew up there as a child. Disneyland was a home away from home as a child.

We have talked about going on a cruise, going and spending the week at Disneyland, spending a few days at Universal Studios- Hollywood… There’s so much we want to do and places we want to see.

We have date nights planned the next three Saturdays to things we have either never done or haven’t done in a long time. This weekend (1/28) we are going to a local Artesian Faire/Farmers Market in our area. I never usually get to browse Farmer’s Markets like this because I am usually a vendor with my boutique. The weekend after we are going to a steak house, about a forty minute drive from where we live that we have only been to once and it was amazing. 

The weekend before Valentine’s Day we plan on going to a little farm about an hour away from our house and have a picnic before we pick fruits. This little farm is having a Valentine’s Day picnic for two with your meal included and you have the opportunity to pick what is in season from their orchards. We haven’t ever done anything of this sort but you never know if you like something unless you try. 

For Valentine’s Day I have a candlelight picnic at home planned. We did this once when we were first dating. We laid out a blanket and ate our Chinese food that we ordered in my bedroom. I don’t really want to go out and do anything fancy so we plan on ordering Chinese and eating by candlelight with some sparkling cider, as we don’t usually drink unless its a major special occasion. 

The memories are the most important to me. We don’t usually do gifts for each other in our marriage because we do experiences. We do trips together, go see local plays or comedy shows, go to the beach… possibilities are endless. I can’t wait to see what we plan next!

If you live in California, what are some of your favorite date places? Where is a place that we have to visit and add to our bucket list?

Until Next Time…

Ashley

Why I Started Blogging

For as long as I remember, I have always been a reader. I’m a major bookworm, so writing seems fascinating to me. At a young age, I remember starting my own novellas in my notes app on my phone.

I have always aspired to be a writer. You know how most people have a goal they want to complete before they die? My goal is to self publish a book. Only a select few people have read some of my work. I have one story line that I started about 7(ish) years ago that I’m super passionate about.

I started this blog to not only get my thoughts out and use it as a online journal, per say. I also wanted to share my love for reading, beauty, makeup, and other random-ish things I’m passionate about.

I know I have said this before but this year I plan to make my blog a priority. I plan to make a schedule. I plan to have different topics written out ahead of time so I can schedule posts. I have already started scheduling some posts and started an idea list in my journal for blog topics.

When it comes to beauty, I love makeup. My skincare routine has been the same for over a decade. Don’t get me wrong, I love some higher end makeup but I hate feeling like I’m blowing my money. If I can get a good product for a lower price, I will most likely go for the more affordable drugstore products.

When I started this blog I did a lot of unboxings and dupe posts. I do have at least one unboxing to share in the next few days from an Ulta purchase after Christmas that I had a gift card for… I got some higher end products for a heck of a deal and I cannot wait to share that when that order comes in.

What I’d love from you guys is some feedback. What are you most interested in? What are some topics you’d love to see me write about? Should I go back to my roots and do some dupe posts again?

Let me know in the comments, because I’d love some inspiration.

XOXO,

Ashley

My 2023 Goals

I’m not a person who is into “New Years Resolutions” because I feel like I never follow through with resolutions. I prefer to set goals for myself. This year I have quite a bit of goals. Some are small and some are large but they’re things I am really going to work on this year.

When I mention my business, I have a small online boutique that I started in 2019. I started with only selling leggings so my business name was “Ashley’s Butter-Soft Leggings.” As I have grown and become so much more than leggings, I have found myself thinking of new names for my boutique. Nothing is set in stone yet, it can get costly but it’s a huge goal to change my name of my b

I’ve put a lot of thought into these goals and this is what I have settled on…

o   Make a morning and night routine and stick to it.

o   Do Pilates or Yoga at least 3 times a week at home.

o   Start studying my bible daily.

o   Read one chapter of the bible daily and choose a daily verse to focus on.

o   Journal every night.

o   Write one thing I’m grateful for or one good thing that happened every day. 

o   Finish 3 books on my TBR in January.

o   Read at least 15 pages of my current book daily before bed. 

o   Make a personal monthly budget and stick to it. Only spend what I am allotted each month. 

o   Plan out a blogging schedule with ideas. 

o   Plan a trip to Disneyland

o   Do one self-care day a week. 

o   Change my business name. 

o   Re-Brand my business. 

o   Drink more water and keep track of how much you drink. 

o   Declutter and organize my bathroom- get rid of skincare I don’t use. 

o   Create a goal bingo sheet in my journal.

o   Work on my handwriting and try to learn calligraphy. 

o   Try one new crockpot recipe per month. 

o   Try one new baking recipe per month. 

o   Go on a spontaneous beach trip with my husband. 

o   Plan at least one date night per month and stick to it. 

o   Start reciting daily affirmations in the morning.

o   Wash makeup brushes weekly.

o   Clean bedroom carpets. 

o   Reward myself for big goals and accomplishments. 

o   Eat more fruits and vegetables. 

o   Set a cleaning schedule. 

o   Organize and clean my office.

o   Organize and clean my dressing room. 

o   Learn new smoothie recipes for breakfast.

o   Stick to my skincare routine daily & nightly. 

o   Do makeup and hair daily for work to help self-confidence.

o   Focus on positivity.

o   Don’t over purchase, restocking necessities is allowed.

o   Always remove makeup before bed. No excuses.

o   Unsubscribe from unwanted emails and clean out email inbox. 

o   Floss every day.

o   Create a new playlist of songs that make me happy.

o   Stop wasting time and energy comparing yourself to others.

o Stop focusing on what could have been, stop living in the past and live in the now.

o   Stop worrying about the future, live in the present.

o   Practice mindfulness.

o   Create a savings plan for the year.

o   Read one self help book per month. 

o Stop caring what others think about you and start caring what you think about you.

Some may think this is a lot of goals to set but not all of them are hard or big. These are just things I really want to work on this year. This is a year of working on me and myself.

Let me know in the comments what your goals are for this year or if you have any New Year’s Resolutions.

XOXO,

Ashley

Society and Standards… My thoughts.

This past weekend I started doing some organization and clean out in my house. I started with my master bedroom bathroom. The master bath is where we keep our “overstock” products like toothpaste, body wash, hand soap etc. along with any medications.

As I was cleaning out, I found myself a little bit embarrassed about how many medications I had. To any person, that would be a dumb thought. I struggle with anxiety, depression, panic disorder, chronic migraines and what is referred to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or CFS.

CFS isn’t a very well known disorder. When most people hear me say I struggle with Chronic Fatigue, I tend to get the same response… “Why don’t you just get some sleep?” This is a super frustrating response to someone who struggles with CFS. One of the main symptoms of it is being tired. Yes, I am tired from it but usually 1) you can’t sleep very well or 2) no matter how much you sleep your body still feels tired.

The thing is having a mental health problem, I have been struggling with major insomnia anyways. I tend to lay in bed and toss and turn because I cannot get my mind and my thoughts to shut down. I’m sure you’ve seen those memes of a character lying awake with the bubble over their head thinking… where’s my birth certificate. I literally have done that… The issue I seem to struggle with most recently is replaying conversations I have had with people and wondering, did I say something wrong?

The past few weeks I have been struggling with over-thinking what I have said, what I have done, what I have worn, what I have eaten… It goes on and on.

When I was in high school, I found myself getting caught up in what society considers “beautiful.” I found myself obsessed with counting calories. I was obsessed with working out to the point where I was running constantly with no off days. I even found myself running on the morning of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Lately I have struggled with my body still changing into a 26 year old woman’s body. I have curves, I have a little more meat on my bones now. And to be honest, I struggle with that. I look at my high school self and realize I was not healthy but my brain wants me to look the same way I did as a teenager and a cheerleader none the less.

The point I’m getting to here is society makes it really hard to be happy with yourself. Having mental health issues is still kind of taboo. Taking antidepressants that literally help me function everyday is looked down on. Taking medication to prevent frequent migraines is looked down on. It is so sad that us as women and even men… we worry so much about what others think. We worry because society tells us to. Yes your doctor recommends these medications but you still find yourself questioning if you need them because SOCIETY SAYS ITS NOT OKAY.

I am working on the fact that I shouldn’t care or worry what people think of me. I shouldn’t care about the current trends or standards. I shouldn’t be embarrassed of my diagnosis(es). It’s a very hard thing to change your mindset. I’m still working on it. I’m doing my best. I’ll keep you updated as I work on shifting my mindset, it’s gonna take some time but I’m worth it… and you are too.

Know your worth and screw society’s standards.

XOXO,

Ashley

Am I Enough?

This is something I struggle with almost daily. I have that little voice in my head telling me I’m not enough, I’m being useless… I’m guilty of feeling like I am less than.

Recently, I have thrown myself more into the Word of God; seeking guidance through trials that I know more than I struggle with. I struggle with fear, anxiety, self-worth, trying to meet everyone else’s expectations of me, and so much more. I have made it a habit to sit down with just myself, my bible and a journal every night before I go off to bed.

Lately, I have been trying to drill in my brain that He has a purpose for everything. This is something else I seem to struggle with… the unknown. One scripture I have found helpful is Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

You may not understand why something happens the way it does or why something is happening to you; you may question “why?” many times. That’s okay. Its okay to be human.

Something I have found helpful is reminding myself that no matter what I do, my future is planned out for me. My future was mapped out before I was even brought into the world. He knows the plans for my life and why everything happens the way it does.

I am enough. No matter what I do, or don’t do… I am enough because He says I’m enough. It doesn’t matter what others think of you, only what God thinks of you.

Do you struggle with feeling worthy? Not feeling like you are enough? What do you do to get out of that mindset?

XOXO,

Ashley

A New Journey…

“Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.”

About a year and a half ago, I made the plunge to try to get healthier. A family member had started a journey with Arbonne. I’ll admit… I was hesitant to spend this money and jump in head first and make a change. It wasn’t only a money factor that was stopping me- I questioned my capability to be able to go through the lifestyle change.

I started off with the 30 Days to Healthy Living with my mom. We split the package and cost to keep each other accountable. It consisted on switching two meals a day (for me this was breakfast and lunch) with protein shakes. I learned it was possible to make a protein shake taste good… surprisingly. I started using the digestion product to help my gut health and then my absolute favorite product was the Energy Fizz Sticks.

I have problems with caffeine when it comes to anxiety and migraines. The caffeine in sodas, etc. will send me in a downward spiral of anxiety attacks and horrible migraines; I quit caffeine cold turkey… UNTIL I found these. The Arbonne Fizz Sticks have been a lifesaver for me in every day life. Literally, I use these every day.

The fizz sticks are only 15 calories and have 55 mg of natural caffeine. These are the only caffeine my body has been able to tolerate and it gets me through the day AND in a good mood. They are also free of artificial sweeteners and free of high fructose corn syrup. Added benefits are balancing blood sugar, improving alertness, improving your cognitive function, metabolism support, and improving happiness overall.

The permanent flavors Arbonne has are pomegranate, strawberry, citrus and blood orange (MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE). As of right now there are limited amounts of the Mango Peach left.

I am not writing this post for any other reason than I truly believe in the products and their benefits and how much healthier I feel after making a change in my lifestyle.

I got a little off on my health and lifestyle so I plan to do my best to keep myself accountable and starting the 30 day to healthy living on August 1st. I have noticed a difference in my habits the past few weeks and my body needs a definite reset. I am craving too much sugar and junk food and when you keep on that lifestyle it seems to affect my mental health, knowing I’m making these bad choices for myself.

I welcome anyone to start the 30 day program with me if you choose!

If you would like to check out any of these products or are interested in a healthier lifestyle choice, the best thing I did was become a PC (preferred client). This gained me discounts, free shipping and free gifts with products I’d already be purchasing just a healthier version of them! I’ll add the link below if you’d be interested in trying any of these products out.

http://www.AshleyGarlin.arbonne.com

Please feel free to leave any questions in the comments!

XOXO,

Ashley

An update… a year later

This last year has been a whirlwind, to say the least.

A pandemic. Opening an online boutique. Mental health. The list goes on.

Let’s start with the pandemic. This is the last thing I could have imagined to happen this year, let alone in MY LIFE! I’m so ready for life to return to normal, whatever that is. I’m not sure what normal is anymore but I’m ready to move on. I miss family, holidays, traveling…

We have barely been able to see my in-laws since this pandemic started. Covid has changed our lives. I’m so lucky to be able to see my family, considering I work with them in our family business… My family is my rock. I can honestly say I am blessed, even with the struggles that Covid 19 has brought on.

My heart hurts for those that haven’t been so lucky through these times. The ones who have lost loved ones, the ones who are barely making it day to day, the ones struggling to pay rent… get food on the table. If you are in one of these situations my heart goes out to you, you’re in my prayers.

I think the one thing that has been a blessing through this is my relationship with God and how its grown. I feel closer to Him then I was before. This has gotten me through. He has gotten me through.

On a lighter side… Yes I have an online boutique now! Gosh it’s strange writing this as a 24 year old… business woman. Yes, starting a small business is hard. It takes work. I’m not only in this for myself but also my future children. Supporting a family means a lot to me, but so does the thought of being a mommy. Being a stay at home mommy.

My prayers for this business are to thrive and grow to be able to eventually work from home when my husband and I decide it’s time for babies. I’ve been so grateful for my mom with my business, she’s my “Right hand Woman.” My best friend. She has taken over when I need her and helped me navigate through learning what it’s like to have a business, to run a business and have a full time job all at once.

Like I said… A whirlwind.

I know I have spoken about mental health before, but this last year has been quite the year. My mental health is my #1 priority. Learning my limits, learning when to push through.

Along with the pandemic has come a spiral of anxiety and depression for me that I have been digging myself out of, to become an even stronger person. Its hard to see positivity some days, I will admit.

The tears.

The sleepless nights.

The anxiety and panic attacks.

I just remind myself that I will come out an even stronger person after this. I have to remind myself that thinking of myself when I need to, is not selfish. It takes so much time and effort. You have to push on. Learn that you are a warrior, as cheesy as that sounds.

As for me, I’m still working on it. I’m still working on myself. That’s OK. Just know, if you’re going through something similar, you’re not alone and YOU CAN DO THIS.

If you’re reading this… thank you!

♡Ashley

My Outlook on 2020

This last year flew by. It’s like I snapped my fingers and then it was 2020. 2019 was a wonderful year but I learned a lot, a lot that I can apply to my life this year.

I have a list of goals and changes I want to make this year. I strive to work on that every day.

Self care- I learned a lot last year about self care. Self care IS NOT selfish. You are cheating yourself if you don’t take that time for you.

Skin- I have oily and acne prone skin and my goal for that is take as much time as I can and do anything I can to make myself feel good when I look in the mirror at my own skin. Remove my makeup every night. Yes I know it’s bad to sleep with it on but my goal is not to forget nightly this year. Once again- self care is not selfish.

Nails- My fingernails are one thing I treat myself to every two to three weeks just because it makes me happy. It makes me feel beautiful. It makes me feel put together. Once again- self care is not selfish.

Mind and body- I have decided to commit to getting healthier. Put that healthy food in my mouth rather than that greasy nasty fast food. It is not a diet- it is a lifestyle. I have learned to put myself first when it comes to my mind set. SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH.

• Be myself- I learned that I need to be myself. No matter if it’s a good day or a bad day. People will or will not accept me during the good the bad and the ugly. I don’t need those in my life who do not accept me during the bad.
• Take up a hobby- instead of coming home and gluing myself to the tv I need to find a hobby. Something that makes me happy. Something I enjoy doing.
• Read- I’m a book worm what can I say? My goal is to read 2-3 books a month this year. I’m already on my second this month.
• Building my business (we’ll go over this business thing later)- I would like to grow and gain new customers and meet my goals every month.

I’m sure there will be more goals as the year goes by but this is my list so far. If I come up with more- I will update more.

I’m hoping this year- 2020 to be the best one yet not only for me but all of you!

XOXO,

Ashley

Wedding Series- The Dress

Let’s face it, every girl dreams about what they will look like on their wedding day from a very young age. We all dream about looking like Cinderella meeting her Prince Charming. Ball gown and all.

Yes, I dreamed of this… until I got engaged.

When I got engaged, I took to Pinterest to look at dress inspiration… I had no idea about any of the million styles of wedding dresses offered. Pinterest overwhelmed me with dresses. I just kept thinking… “What am I going to wear?”

I showed up at the bridal shop and let the lady know that I wanted no bling, beads, and very little lace… other than that I had no idea what I wanted in a wedding dress.

We picked out three dresses… one was full lace with pockets (YES, POCKETS!), one simple mermaid style, and one that was flowy. I tried on the lace first and fell in love instantly. The other two didn’t even compare when I put them on. I just wanted to put the first dress back on.

I ended up buying the first dress I tried on.

After I had the dress in my possession, already paid for, I became worried for a few fitting issues. The hem was too long, the halter was too loose, and the dress was too big. I was worried certain issues couldn’t be fixed, let alone be fixed by early September for my wedding.

Today, I had my alterations appointment. The seamstress pinned the dress in all the right places… the dress is perfect. It looks like a whole new dress. It flatters my figure and makes me feel confident about my body.

I’m ready to walk down the isle now, September can’t come soon enough.

My advice to any bride just buying their dress, go with your heart. When you try on that “perfect” dress, you will know. I promise. Don’t let alterations scare you, I learned this myself. If that perfect dress is too big, opt for some alterations so it is fitted for your body. I know wedding dress shopping is scary, its also a beautiful experience. Sometimes you just need to conquer that fear. Follow your heart. 

Feel free to leave any questions below!

XOXO,

Ashley